Saturday, April 22, 2006

Why we don't use common sense

In response to a post of mine, anonymous* said "It is time that the Police stopped taking these frivilous complaints seriously, they should start using common sence."

Here a story of how things could have gone...

CMOP - Concerned member of public
CSupt - Chief Superintendant
Sgt - Sarge
PC - PC Sense, our hero

(Phone rings in PC Sense's office)
CMOP: Hi I'd like to register a complaint. I've seen a gollywog in a shop window. I think they are racist and I want to complain.
PC Sense: Hmm, its only a toy - are you sure you want to complain?
CMOP: Yes. I find them racist
PC Sense: Ok, I'll create a log about this, but theres really nothing that we can do about this. They are only toys after all, and I am investigating 3 assaults, 1 domestic and an harassment at the moment.
CMOP: (Hangs up)

(Approximately 30 minutes later)
Sgt: PC Sense? We've had a complaint about you. Apparently you refused to take a complaint of racial abuse earlier.
PC Sense: (laughing) What, the gollywogs?

(stunned silence settles in the busy office)
Sgt: What? What did you just say?
PC Sense: (scared now) I was just asking if it was about the gollywogs...
Sgt: (leaning over, stern, all eyes in office now looking on in horror) The TERM, Pc SENSE, is GOLLY.
PC Sense: Sorry sarge.
Sgt: Why didn't you crime this matter. Are you racist Sense?
PC Sense: No sarge! But, lets use common sense sarge, theres no real offences there!
Sgt: (shouting) Common sense! Common sense?! This is the LAW boy, under home office counting rules if someone tells you about a crime you have no choice but to crime it! NO CHOICE! (calming down) Ok, I can't get you out of this one, I'll have to put a report in to the CSupt.

(Approx 30 mins later, in the CSupt's office)

CSupt: SO PC Sense, I have here a serious complaint from a CMOP and your Sgt of racist corruption. What do you have to say in your defence?
PC Sense: Erm, aren't I allowed a fed rep with me?
CSupt: Aha! So you are a racist! Why else would you want one?
PC Sense: No, no! Um, I don't want one I've done nothing wrong.
CSupt: You didn't crime it.
PC Sense: Ok, so _technically_ I did that wrong, but I was only using common sense.
CSupt: You do what the home office tells you to!
PC Sense: But I only didn;t crime it because if I crimed it we'd have to investigate.
CSupt: Nonsense, the home office only says we must crime the offences, the choice of the investigation we undertake is ours.
PC Sense: But sir, a racially aggravated section 5 is a racist violence offence, and so we'd be forced to investigate and detect it to stop our figures looking bad, regardless of what was obviously the right way to deal with it, which in this case would have just been to inform the shopkeeper about it and leave it with them. We'd be forced to find an offender and either charge or caution them to get the detection. Theres no CHANCE we'd be allowed not to investigate it.
CSupt: ...

Headlines next day: Racist Police Officer fired!

* Ok, seriously guys, can no one think up a funny pseudo name? I'm getting so bloody bored with all these anonymous's!


At 4:20 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 3:43 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 11:11 am, Blogger thinblueline said...

oh so funny it hurts

At 1:36 pm, Anonymous Alfred of Wessex said...

In plain man's language, the lunatics have well and truly taken over the asylum.

Or, more to the point, the organs of the State are now in the hands of the Cultural Marxist elite, and are actively engaged in the destruction of the very society they exist to defend.

At 5:32 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about something along the lines of 'Jedi'as in warrior.. a non mouse or anonymous in any way is perceived as cowardly... on a technical note.. if your assigned IP address is exposed or tracked to a specific computer, not necessarily by your ISP, then you are up the proverbial creek!cryptography..anonymous P2P.. or you won't be a non mouse for long!

At 5:35 pm, Anonymous Mustang said...

I left a previous post as anonymous...berating the use of 'anon'! actually it's Mustang!


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